Hungry Heart by Jennifer Weiner

Author:Jennifer Weiner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

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I. Holding an ice cube in no way resembles the pain of delivering a baby.

Never Breastfeed in a Sweater Dress, and Other Parenting Tips I Learned the Hard Way

DO NOT hate yourself if you need an epidural, if your baby needs formula, if you need a break. The object is survival and the two of you getting out alive and intact. Whatever it takes to make that happen is fine.

DO always check the diaper bag before you leave the house, and bring more diapers and clothes than you think you’ll need.

DO NOT wear a sweater dress while breastfeeding. Seriously. Do not.

DO keep baby nail clippers in the car, so that when your baby falls asleep in her car seat (thus totally blowing her nap), you can at least get a few nails clipped.

DO bring earplugs when flying with a baby, as well as a small gift for the flight attendant and drink coupons for anyone stuck in the blast zone if a meltdown occurs. Remember—it’s nice to appease fellow passengers, but the flight attendants are the ones you really need on your side.

DO NOT judge the mom with the screaming baby on the plane. Chances are she’s already mortified and miserable, and unless she somehow snuck aboard your private jet, you agreed to take your chances when you got your ticket. Buy yourself a drink—and maybe offer her one, too. Put in your headphones. Deal.

DO understand that near-sightedness can be a gift. If you can’t hire a full-time housekeeper, you can forgo the Lasik surgery and regularly wearing your glasses and/or contacts so that your entire life looks like a soft-focus Monet blur and you don’t really see the dust. Or you can decide that no woman on her deathbed ever looked up at her loved ones and croaked out, “I wish I’d wiped down the floorboards.”

DO NOT try to do it all yourself. Don’t be a martyr. Don’t stand when you can sit, don’t sit when you can lie down, take a nap whenever possible, and take whatever help you’re offered.

DO know that any bra can be a nursing bra, any top can be a nursing top, any stroller can be a jogging stroller, and any kid’s party can be a drop-off party, if you have the courage of your convictions.

DO NOT be picky. One of my relatives was great about offering to help with my daughters, but I worried that she was too rough with them and that she wasn’t following my explicit instructions about naps. One of the playgroup facilitators told me, “Your daughter is going to meet all kinds of people in her life, and they’re going to treat her all kinds of ways. By letting this relative spend time with Lucy, you’re teaching your daughter to learn to get along with people who aren’t just like you, and to be her own advocate . . . and that’s a gift.” Obviously, don’t entrust your kids to caregivers who are abusive or cruel, but different? Different is okay.

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